I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
