Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
this hospital has no fireball
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
