Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
