Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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