Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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