i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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