Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
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I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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