I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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