After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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