i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
