Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
