who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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