Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He passed out mid-signature
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
