I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
