I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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