I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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