I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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