i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
