I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
