and you said cock pushups were impossible
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
