So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
