You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
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If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I supernannyed him into submission
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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