I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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