I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
