"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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