Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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