you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
