You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
