I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
