Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize