Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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