I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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