your parents love me but you hate me
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
