dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
