ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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