I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
