eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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