You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
