I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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