i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
