Already got asked if we're dating
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
