K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
