This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
