just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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