You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
