I hate your face
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
