Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
