do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
