so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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