We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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