I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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