So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize