Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
