I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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