You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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