Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
