my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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