How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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