his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize