i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize