I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
