Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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