I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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