i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
