can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
